Found: The Original Couch Floozy

I actually acquired this lovely piece of art at Goodwill over a year ago, and I can’t believe that I completely forgot about it!  It went into storage at my inlaws’ house and I just recently rediscovered it.  And subsequently freaked out because, oh hey there – it’s the couch floozy!

You might think this vintage needlework represents the Biblical woman at the well, but no: this is the original couch floozy, who just can’t commit to one sofa.

Shunned by the local townsfolk for her sofa skankiness, she is forced to draw well water at inopportune times of the day to avoid the clacking tongues of housewives who are secretly jealous of her vintage finds…

Someone in days of yore thoughtfully and painstakingly embroidered this delightful tapestry, just for me.

Knowing that one day it would make for a fabulous tie-in to my favorite blog post.  And then, years – decades – later, some other equally agreeable soul deposited said tapestry at Goodwill.  Knowing that I would dig through heavy oceans of framed seashell prints and motivational posters to find it.

Look at the insane detail in the stitches:

See her upraised hand?  She’s admitting to the number of vintage sofas she has hoarded. Five. Five couches…

(And aren’t these totally the sandals a couch-floozy would wear?  I know I would.)

I’d love to find out more about the origin of this awesome piece, but all I have to go by is this stamp on the back of the frame, which is unfortunately uninformative.  Let me know if you have any thoughts!

So you’ve met the original couch floozy.  Now all she needs is a name… Any suggestions?

I wanted to call her “the patron saint of thrifting”, but Google tells me that honor in fact belongs to St. Vincent du Paul.  There is also apparently already a “patron saint of antique dealers” – St. Odo of Canterbury.  Yes, I looked this up.  Yes, I care about being factual.

It does however appear that “the patron saint of vintage sofas” is available though, so we are in business!

[P.S. I joke about all this in the most light-hearted and non-sacrilegious way possible.  My intent is never to offend!]